Ending my search for motivation

One day while having a conversation with my mother about life in general, she said “The problem with people nowadays is that everyone wants to be successful and famous without being good at anything and their unwillingness to work hard to be good at something.” I was really awestruck by this as she was totally right and I wanted to know the underlying reason behind what is it that prevents me from working hard.

I got the answer to the question pretty easily, it was the lack of “MOTIVATION”. So, there I was scorching through the internet, watching motivational videos for hours,reading blogs and talking to some really successful people to find where do they get their motivation from (wouldn’t have to do so much of my own if college had a guidance counselor, something we ought to push to get in colleges in India). I got so many good answers and thus, I was like ready to embark on this journey to become productive. I did everything that I could and I was doing really good for a month but then I hit a set back and my motivation was lost again.

This time I was totally convinced that I don’t have it in me to work hard and do well at something but then I remembered I have worked really hard and done really well throughout my time in school, what is it about college that has changed me for the worst? What is it about college that crushes everyone’s soul?

Then I came across something while reading “Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones” by James Clear (probably the most helpful and realistic self help book out there). He wrote “Can’t stress this more but motivation is overrated,create systems in your life, that get you some discipline. One or the other thing will definitely get in your head every other day, and in situations like these (situations where you can’t find motivation) only discipline can put you through!.” And it hit me, throughout my school life I had a timetable that I followed rigorously and I was really disciplined. And maybe this is it. All the reason behind my casualness is that I lack discipline.

So, I have now ended my search for motivation and now I will try my level best to get this discipline in my life again.

Side note — Or is it that good peeps have to study subjects they don’t have any idea about and have zero passion for and thus, they are caught in an endless cycle of not doing well which causes depression and lack of motivation to live in general? Who knows?